Here’s a letter we received from a new reader. He shares a little of his journey from faith to atheism to his recent tentative steps back to faith again. If any of you know of some good resources in the Phoenix area that you think may benefit John, please contact me (Terri) at email@example.com.
I have been a confirmed atheist for some years now, but at one time was a practicing Christian, and a Calvinist. I have long considered my atheism to be a regrettable retreat to a rationalist position, but recently I have come to doubt that my “faith” in materialism is anything more than a reaction against my disappointment in the way my own life turned out (and a reaction against other Christians with whom I share little in terms of world-view).
I have pondered this for some time, and recently did a search online for anarchist Christians. I found a website (Jesus Radicals) and saw Greg’s name under their theology tab. I read an article that was posted here, and then earlier today watched the entire video post on the theme of Open Theism. About halfway through, when Greg was talking about the story of the young woman who had gotten married, I found myself weeping uncontrollably. I can feel the tears coming back even now as I write this.
I was a philosophy major in college, and became a Calvinist after my conversion. But after a few years, I became very disillusioned and what once seemed rational became more and more difficult to accept. But I am more and more convinced that what turned me away was not the failings of theology, but a belief that God had failed me when I tried to do what I thought He wanted me to do. Something about Greg’s talk made me realize that my choices may have been truly free, and it wasn’t that God was setting me up to torture me.
My question is, do you know of anyone in the Phoenix area (which is where I am now living) that I could contact to start working this out? I am loathe to walk into a church again at this point, but would like to find a community where I can start to break this down and, hopefully, return to a state of grace and faith again.
Thank you for posting this video. It gave me some hope.
Image by Ian Sane. Sourced via Flickr.