We run our website the way we wished the whole internet worked: we provide high quality original content with no ads. We are funded solely by your direct support. Please consider supporting this project.

Gays and God’s Beebe Bird Massacre

So, what about those thousands of birds that died suddenly in Beebe Arkansas on New Years Eve? Some say it was caused by fireworks. Others say it more likely was due to hail or lightening. And, of course, there will always be those who chalk it up to pesty aliens. (Why don’t they just leave us ALONE?!)

Well another option has recently been put on the table for our careful consideration (surely you knew this was coming!). Cindy Jacobs, widely regarded as a prophetess in charismatic circles, has produced a short video suggesting that this bizarre event was a sign from God expressing his disapproval of the recent repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” (a policy that forbid gays from being open about their orientation while serving in the military). As confirming evidence, Cindy points out that this policy was put in place by President Bill Clinton whom, you may recall, came from Arkansas!

There ya go!

Let’s be clear what this revelation means folks. It seems God IS okay with our warfare in general. No birds were supernaturally smitten when the U.S. invaded Iraq, Afghanistan, Grenada, or dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. And, so far as we know, no birds have been smitten over our half trillion dollar military budget while a billion neighbors lack basic food and shelter. The Almighty is okay with this. It’s only after we allowed gay soldiers to stop hiding that he unleashed the Beebe bird massacre.

Basically, all those smitten birds were God’s way of saying, “Soldiers, you can keep killing, but get back in the closet!”

People, how many more poor blackbirds will have to die before we get the point!?!

I don’t know, but if God is going to keep communicating this way, I’m thinking he should consider hiring a new press agent or something. His warnings just don’t seem to be landing lately. Some may recall the famous church steeple warning a few years back. One could argue it also was a bit too subtle.

So you’re probably wondering why I even bother to blog about nonsense like this? Well, I find that if I don’t allow myself to laugh, I easily begin to get angry. Also, if followers of Jesus don’t publicly distance themselves from nonsense-in-Jesus-name, then non-believers naturally assume that buying into this nonsense is simply what Jesus followers do. (Sadly, I first heard this story on Anderson Cooper’s CNN program last night.)

Peace

ps. Don’t forget, NDY party/fundraiser for Providence Ministries at the Dugout in Mahtomedi, MN, THIS FRIDAY (1/14), 8:30 -12:00.

Related Reading

Grieving with the God who Pulled the Trigger?

Lawrence Krauss recently wrote a thought-provoking, soul-searching essay for CNN Opinion entitled, “Why must a nation grieve with God?” Krauss was disturbed by a comment made by President Obama at a memorial service for the victims of the tragedy at Newtown CT.  Commenting on Jesus’ statement to “Let the little children come to me,” Obama opined:…

A Cross-Centered Evaluation of Responses to Tragedy

I’d like to pick up where I left off on my previous post about Draper’s article entitled “Aurora shooting inspires various perspectives on God and belief.” Toward the end of his article, Draper reports on an informal survey conducted by Stephen Prothero on his CNN Blog. Prothero simply asks people to respond to the question: “Where…

Did God Cause the Polar Vortex?

When is this polar vortex thing going to end? It’s March, and even in Minnesota we expect to see temperatures warmer than this. With all of the sleet and cold in the south, it seems like schools are closing more than they are open. While this is not a catastrophic event like a hurricane, tsunami,…

Why did God create me to be a pedophile?

Question: Since the first time I experienced a sex drive it’s been directed towards little children. I’ve never acted on this, for I know it’s wrong. But it torments me. Why would God created me with pedophile cravings? Answer: I’m so sorry for your condition and greatly respect the fact that you have committed yourself…

God Does Not Always Get What He Wants

One of the ways the Bible makes it clear that humans have free will and that God doesn’t predetermine human decisions is found in the responses God has toward human choices. Scripture consistently depicts God as being frustrated by the way his people obstinately resist his plans and Scripture often depicts God’s heart as breaking…

The Point of the Book of Job

The point of the book of Job is to teach us that the mystery of evil is a mystery of a war-torn and unfathomably complex creation, not the mystery of God’s all-controlling will. Given how Christians are yet inclined to look for a divine reason behind catastrophes and personal tragedies, I think it’s a point…