We run our website the way we wished the whole internet worked: we provide high quality original content with no ads. We are funded solely by your direct support. Please consider supporting this project.
Is homosexual love without homoerotic behavior okay for a Christian?
Question: You may find this to be an odd question, but is it possible for two Christians of the same gender to remain a couple if they do not engage in sex? My partner and I love each other but our study of Scripture convinces us that having sex is wrong. Now, sex was never a huge part of our relationship anyway, so we’ve committed to abstaining. But we still want to do life together. I can’t imagine life without my partner. Do you think God is okay with this arrangement?
Answer: Let me first say I greatly admire you and your partner for having the openness and courage to let God’s Word convict you on something that undoubtedly introduces a good deal of sacrifice into your life. You are to be commended.
Now, your question is not at all an odd one. It’s a very good one. I wish more people asked it. I’ve found that a lot of gay people assume the Bible’s teaching that homosexual behavior is sin condemns them to a life of solitude, devoid of love. It does not.
While I would advice you to not refer to yourselves as a “couple” any longer (this is the language of romance, not friendship), there is nothing in the Bible that suggests two people of the same gender can’t share a love for one another that is as profound as a love between a man and a woman. David and Jonathan had this kind of affection for one another. At one point Scripture says: “So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, ‘May the LORD call David’s enemies to account.’ And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself” (I Sam 20:16-17).
Then, in 2 Samuel David says to Jonathan,
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women (2 Sam. 1:26).
So it seems like two people of the same gender can share a deep, godly, profound love for one another. The Bible is against homoerotic behavior, but not against same gender love itself.
I have advised several other gay couples along these lines. They obviously have to struggle with sexual temptation, but the ones I know have found the struggle worth the reward of continuing to share life with someone they love profoundly.
Category: Q&A
Tags: Christian Life, Q&A, Sexuality, Sin
Topics: Ethical, Cultural and Political Issues, Relationships, Sin
Related Reading
How do you respond to Romans 11:36?
“For from him [God] and through him and to him are all things.” Calvinists sometimes cite this doxology as evidence that Paul believed that every single event in world history was from, through and for God. In light of the fact that the verses leading up to this doxology address God’s genuine frustration with Israel’s…
Don’t Wilberforce’s achievements refute your stance on the separation of faith and politics?
Question: William Wilberforce was a Christian whose passionate involvement in politics almost single-handedly brought an end to the slave trade in 19th century England. Don’t his achievements show the importance of Christians being involved in politics, thus refuting your contention that Christian’s should keep their faith and values separate from politics? Answer: First, while I…
The Full Meaning of Salvation
Many view salvation as a legal transaction, which means that it’s a mere acquittal from the consequences of sin. While forgiveness of our sin is certainly involved, the NT view of salvation goes far beyond this when it proclaims that Jesus came to save his people from their sins (Mt. 1:23)—not merely the consequences of those sins. In fact,…
Must wives submit to husbands?
The apostle Paul writes: Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to…
Why do you have such a pessimistic view of government?
Question: I’m a Christian and serve as a servant in government and I find your book The Myth of a Christian Nation, as well as some of your sermons on Christians and politics, highly offensive. I find that while governments sometimes harm people, they also do a lot of good. The American government in particular…
How do you respond to Acts 2:23 and 4:28?
Question: Acts 2:23 and 4:28 tell us that wicked people crucified Jesus just as God predestined them to do. If this wicked act could be predestined, why couldn’t every other wicked act be predestined? Doesn’t this refute your theory that human acts can’t be free if they are either predestined or foreknown? Answer: In Acts…