I have forgiven, but how do I trust again?
Every week we get in all kinds of questions and comments from our readers. If you have a question, first check our ever-growing Q&A page, and then send it to us if it hasn’t already been answered. We can’t get to them all, but yours might be answered and featured like this one below.
READER: A while back, a friend of mine seriously hurt and betrayed me. After three years of not seeing one another (her choice), she humbly repented, told me she was sorry, and asked for my forgiveness. I have forgiven her and we are starting to be friends again. But now what? How do I open my heart to her again? How do I start “testing the waters” to see if I can trust again? I want to be able to freely love and trust her again, just as Christ does with us. But how do I do this without being suspicious all the time, scrutinizing every conversation? It’s a hard line to walk, but I’m looking for some Godly wisdom concerning how to walk it in love and truth. Any scripture or words of advice would be greatly appreciated!
GREG: While no Scriptures immediately come to mind that directly answer your question, I can offer some advice. That is a hard line to walk, and the balance is between guarding your heart on the one hand, while giving out appropriate degrees of trust on the other. There simply is no “rule” about how much or how little to do this. What I can say, however, is that it will help immensely if you can learn to get all your worth, security, and sense of well-being from Christ to the point that even if your sister were to betray you again—which I hope would never happen—it still would not destroy you. If a person’s unfaithfulness cuts to the core of our worth, security, and well-being, it’s much harder to trust them.
I wish you and your sister the best as you restore your relationship.