We run our website the way we wished the whole internet worked: we provide high quality original content with no ads. We are funded solely by your direct support. Please consider supporting this project.
Is homosexual love without homoerotic behavior okay for a Christian?
Question: You may find this to be an odd question, but is it possible for two Christians of the same gender to remain a couple if they do not engage in sex? My partner and I love each other but our study of Scripture convinces us that having sex is wrong. Now, sex was never a huge part of our relationship anyway, so we’ve committed to abstaining. But we still want to do life together. I can’t imagine life without my partner. Do you think God is okay with this arrangement?
Answer: Let me first say I greatly admire you and your partner for having the openness and courage to let God’s Word convict you on something that undoubtedly introduces a good deal of sacrifice into your life. You are to be commended.
Now, your question is not at all an odd one. It’s a very good one. I wish more people asked it. I’ve found that a lot of gay people assume the Bible’s teaching that homosexual behavior is sin condemns them to a life of solitude, devoid of love. It does not.
While I would advice you to not refer to yourselves as a “couple” any longer (this is the language of romance, not friendship), there is nothing in the Bible that suggests two people of the same gender can’t share a love for one another that is as profound as a love between a man and a woman. David and Jonathan had this kind of affection for one another. At one point Scripture says: “So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, ‘May the LORD call David’s enemies to account.’ And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself” (I Sam 20:16-17).
Then, in 2 Samuel David says to Jonathan,
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women (2 Sam. 1:26).
So it seems like two people of the same gender can share a deep, godly, profound love for one another. The Bible is against homoerotic behavior, but not against same gender love itself.
I have advised several other gay couples along these lines. They obviously have to struggle with sexual temptation, but the ones I know have found the struggle worth the reward of continuing to share life with someone they love profoundly.
Category: Q&A
Tags: Christian Life, Q&A, Sexuality, Sin
Topics: Ethical, Cultural and Political Issues, Relationships, Sin
Related Reading
In a democracy, don’t Christians have a responsibility to participate in politics?
Question: You’ve argued that Christians shouldn’t try to gain power in government on the grounds that Jesus didn’t try to gain power in the political system of his day. But his government didn’t allow for such power. Caesar and Pilate weren’t elected by anyone. Our government allows for this. So don’t we have a responsibility…
In your Anabaptist view, should Christians get involved in politics at all? Do you think they should even vote?
Ultimately, each person must follow their conscience when it comes to whether or not they vote, how they vote if they decide to vote, and the extent to which they should involve themselves in the political system. But we must always remain aware of the dangers involved in participating in the political system, for it…
How do you respond to Matthew 26:36?
At the last supper Jesus said to Peter, “Truly I tell you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.” This is probably the most frequently quoted verse by defenders of the classical understanding of God’s foreknowledge against the open view. How, they ask, could Jesus have been certain Peter…
What is the significance of Isaiah 38:1–5?
God tells Hezekiah “you shall die: you shall not recover” (vs. 1). Hezekiah pleads with God and God decides to “add fifteen years” to his life. As we noted concerning 2 Kings 20:1–5, if God foreknew that he wasn’t going to end Hezekiah’s life, his declaration that he intended to do so and his decision…
How do you respond to 2 Thessalonians 2:3–4?
“Let no one deceive you in any way; for that day will not come unless the rebellion comes first and the lawless one exalts himself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, declaring himself to be God.” As with most passages in the…
How do you respond to Mark 14:13–15?
In planning for the Passover meal, Jesus tells his disciples, “Go into the city and a man carrying a jar of water will meet you; follow him, and wherever he enters, say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher asks, Where is my guest room where I may eat the Passover with my disciples?’…